watched the closing ceremony this morning. and in the papers, phelps hugged a lady. i wanna a hug from him too. ): -grrs- if i can. ill fly to usa to find him one day. -grins- xP

wells. tmr's teacher's day celebration. gonna wear jiting's clothes tmr. i wonder this blur sotong will remember norts. or else im gonna wear ___;* lols. tadaaa. im off now. cyarrs babes. mwahs. ((:

yesterday was hell. during chinese lessons. i looked at mie lit mock exam results. and thought of kor. i wanna show him this. he'll be happy upon seeing this. and i thought of the day i held onto his hands and what he told me to do, what i had promised him. i can remember vividly. so i kept on thinking and thinking. cher came forward and asked why am i so quiet on the day. shes been teaching me fer four years so yeahs, she can read mie mind, mie emotions. she hugged me and i couldnt help crying. i cant control myself when someone was conforting me. so yeah, i cried. i continued crying fer 30mins i suppose. im sorry fer disturbing lc. hes doing the compo and yet i was crying beside him. cher was really supportive. she gave me advices and conforted me. everyone probed. can see everyones in a shock as i suppose they didnt see me cry before. yeahs i believe im a strong girl. but this time, i jex cant help it. so yeahs. went recess with mie swollen eyes. cher asked me to go home early. haha i got da permission but i didnt. kor doesnt want me to visit him early and hes gonna ask me why am i there so early. so i waited till after school. headed ta mum's office and changed mie clothings. and reached nuh. hes sleeping when i reached there. its only till evening and he saw me. i held onto his hands again. was really tired. so i put some make-up. till ten plus. kor went fer an op. before that there were some misunderstandings. he claimed that the doctors lied to him. he thought that operation was fer smth else. not what he thought. it took fifteen mins fer everything to settle. yeahs he agreed going fer that op. before the door was closed, i used hand signs to tell him to work hard, jiayou. he nodded.

while waiting and to keep myself calm. i went down to call zhenguang and jiting fer a talk. till midnight. parents came down and gave me a lecture. the op has ended yet i wasnt upstairs. mum was irritated and said no more computer fer u during midnight. shes comparing me with my cousins as they looked good while i looked pale. yeahs i didnt remain silence. i claimed i put on make up to hide my tears as kor didnt want to see me like this. mum was speechless. yeahs im trying to understand her too. no one has a good temper now. neither do i. however. i jex cant stay calm. im still angry fer wad she said and her lack of understanding.

hmms. gonna visit kor later again. i regretted fer not being there after his op. i really regretted and im sorry. cant forgive myself fer that. anws. wanna thank zhenguang, jiting, torphaine, shawn kor, geokhong and a lot more people who have been there fer me. not forgetting mie chinese teacher. and babyy! yeah sherm thanks. he has accompanied me sms-ing when i was feeling bored there. i will be strong. rest assured. ((:

jex now that blur sotong jiting called. touchedd (: he called to see whether im okays. yuppie im touched. really thanks. hughugs*

went to jurong junior college this afternoon. it was okay thou. im interested in tennis. theres no swimming pool )= then passed by firing range and kor threw something at me. bad hor. and my friends looked at him. lols. had lecture talks etc. met up with kor again after mie talks. went to have dinna with him. didnt have the appetite thou. thats mie first meal of the day. yeahs. he asked me to eat more but my teeth! =\ and i wasted most of the food thou. feeling bad ahs cause its his treat. sorrys kor. after that he sent me to the bus stop. feeling happy cause i missed him! ((: im gonna disturb him teaching me physics. hahas. to me, i gotta catch up with kor. im suchaa bad sistaa. anyways. ill catch up with him soon.

reached home. dad gave a call and told me that mie cousin might not make it thru. waited fer mum and sis to come home. straightaway, we rushed and took a cab to nuh. mum and sis went up first while i paid the fare. and when i rushed to the entrance, i fell. ohmiegawd. it hurts and many people were staring at me. but i ran and ran and ran. i saw kor's smile. he's happy. but after a few hours later, he's becoming weaker. i held onto him and i could feel his heart pumping very hard. he's breathing very hard. he has the determination and very strong. he smiled at me upon my clumsiness. stayed with him till eleven. actually wanted to stay there till tomorrow but he wont be happy if he knows this. so i visiting him tomorrow morning. yeahs not going school. i lied to him that tmr im having speech day so dont have to go school. yeah i lied but im sorry. i dont mean to lie to him. he's jex afraid that i'll neglect mie studies. but i have assured him i'll score many As fer him. aunt was really upset. i dont really know how to console her. she asked about mie experience and i suggested to her that she should let him leave peacefully by taking that injection. he's suffering now, and yet holding onto every breath he can. it pains me. i go sleep now. tmr still need to take care of kor. i love him lots.

thanks shawn kor fer being there fer me. and thanks fer the day. mei loves you. ((:

phelps stepped out of the spotlight on swimming's final day as he yielded the butterfly berth in the relay final to ian crocker. yeah if he was in there, he would have had his sixth gold medal in the athens 2004. he's really great.

"that is what this team is about," Peirsol said. "To sacrifice something of yourself for the whole team."

after all, phelps, who had already piled up five gold medals and two bronze, was conspicuous by his absence. even though he did not win mark spitz's 7 gold medals in the olympics 36 years ago, he's already a great swimmer in the US history.

oh yes. of course i did drool over him. =P ive bought the new paper and sunday times today jex to get his articles? hehes. anyways, it has been a beautiful week for phelps. (=

yesterday night aint good thou. went to visit mie cousin who is running out of time. i took care of him as he's having high fever. thats really bad. lucky, he managed to remember me. =D he's unhappy as his mum didnt take good care of herself. my aunts, my mum were unhappy too upon hearing him scolding my aunt fer not taking good care of herself, not sleeping well etc. i know my aunt has a hard time. sighs. he's only twenty. and looking at him in this state made me think of last year's incident. he has changed a lot over the years. now, a sensible and handsome boy. he said he was so 'lucky' as this kind of illness, only 1 out of 100 people will get it. it pains me. even thou i havent been seeing him over the years, but somehow, i could still feel the presence of family bond. wells. im trying to spend time visiting him after school. but i hope im able to cope with my studies though. i told him i'll score As in mie Os. he was delighted upon hearing my chinese Os results too. i feel happy. haha. he even said my sister looked like an 'apple face'. LOL. ayee. i cant deny i feel like crying. but im holding on. my mum cried. everyone feels sad for him. but we got to take it. and i hope that miracles will happen. (=

oh yess! michael phelps won his fifth gold in the Games record of 51.25sec! yays! cheerrios. xP theres one more still in his sights. fifth at the turn in a field led by world record-holder iancCrocker, and phelps pushed his way into position to snatch the gold at the touch by four-hundredths of a second. ohmiegawd. i thought he's gonna lose as he's a distance behind ian crocker fer the last 15m. and he did it. thats really amazing. he's pure tough. and he made it to his fifth gold. he has produced a magical week! oh cool man. phelps stayed on course to finish the Olympics with a remarkable six gold medals by producing a lung-bursting late surge to snatch victory by his fingertips in the 100m butterfly. he made it! oh yes. im thrilled. im happy! yarr. im crazy about this. i simply love phelps. i love michael phelps! he had already won the 200m and 400m individual medleys, the 200m fly and the 4x200m free relay, and claimed bronze in the 4x100m free and 200m freestyle. cool. =P

the morning was good. the afternoon, once i woke up in the afternoon, i got a bad news. mie cousin has only a month to live. thats really bad kaes. hes so young and theres only one month left. sighs. im going to the hospital later in the evening. but in mie mind, i wonder if i can go thru this again. last year i couldnt control mieself upon seeing mie bro in the bed lyin. i couldnt control mieself and i still cant get over it even today. and yet now. im going thru this again. yeahs he might not be close to me as i didnt see him fer years. i jex feel the family bond is there and he eagers to see everyone before he leaves this beautiful world. theres people who wants to live. theres people who wants to kill themselves. realisin life is precious. i jex hope i can control mieself later. i still cant get over it yet. oh wells. hafta go out now. gonna meet zhen darling later. yahs and brandon. perhaps zhenguang too. heyheys. i love phelps! ((:

michael phelps rocks! he's mie fav idol. most people idolise celebrities, yet im idolising swimmer. xP and eu must be surprise marilyn has an idol! lols. its a disappointment that he didnt manage to get 7 golds. but anyways, he's performing well. to me, his greatest opponent was ian thrope. ian thrope was good too. however, he's an expert in freestyle. but heys. phelps got a gold for the 200m butterfly this afternoon. he got golds fer 400m individual medley, 4 x 200 free relay too. yayys! cheer fer phelps! =DDD

its raining cats and dogs now. weee. i love the rain. its so cooling. lalalas. i better get going. cyarrs. oh wait. ive uploaded the neos i took with darling* heres! lovelove*((:

in the train. i saw someone. i thought he's prime minister, lee hsien loong's first son. cause he looks like his son. i know i shouldnt pity him. but thens. thots came to mie mind wondering what kind of life this person is living. feels really sad fer him. dad said prime minister's son wont stroll around so perhaps, it wasnt him. i dont know. =/

headed to town. went fareast and ate kaya toast. yummie. its like i eat once a year. hahas. the last time ive been there was last year. later we shopped around. and took neos. xP its partly blue. not bad. haha. and met some caucasians. they were damn nice and friendly. the guy was like 'hello neighbour!'. hahas. i replied back and he kept smiling at us. hahas fun. ((:

walked to heeren and took neos again. i love the neos. yeahs ill upload in mie gallery one day kaes. urms. then walked around. and headed back to jurong east to meet her bro.

his family came after that and went to jumbo restaurant. had a very sumptuous meal. shark fin. chilli crab. black pepper crab. etc etcc. it was delicious. yummyy. it cost more than two hundred actually. =/ and his dad drove me home. yeahs.. back to mie studies. gonna watch teevee later - summer scent! =D

whees. okay. im elated. got back mie GCE O-Level Examination Mother Tongue results this afternoon. right after recess, i saw my chinese teacher. i was with my classmate so she headed forward and asked. from the way my teacher commented, i sort of knew how much i got fer it. i dont feel happy, neither do i feel sad. i dont feel neutral at all. it's jex some feelings which cannot be described. and we went down fer our physics lessons. ohmiegawd. its totally packed! it was really crowded. i met mie chinese teacher at the foyer. i told her not to tell me mie results but she ignored. and i was thrilled to hear i got an a1 fer it, with a distinction. i hugged her and she was smiling at me. yeahs im really grateful to her as she's been giving me moral support, care and concern fer these four entire years. her efforts were paid off. and mie class didnt let her down too. the lowest grade was c5. and yeahs. eu can hear people screaming away, jumping around, and yeah.. the sadness in their faces. reyner's one mad man. he was shouting and jumping away. hahas. and fer mie darling. she got a b3. i simply feel so happy fer her. ((:

told mum about mie results once i got home. actually, i wanted to say i did badly. but shes sick so i cant bear to agitate her or whatsoever. my dad was waiting fer mie phone call too as his colleague got his daughter's news too. and his boss was waiting fer mine. my dad was elated upon hearing mie results. im sure his boss feels the same as he does. she has expectations fer me eu see. her daughters are from raffles. i cant deny im having a little pressure. but yeahs. i did not let her down after all. same goes fer mie parents. and mie kor. and laogong! hahas. he's been sms-ing me in the afternoon. so sweet of him. he did not do well but yeahs. he has mie moral support. he even asked me to teach him piano. ohmiegawd. i dont know if im up to this. but i told him we'll discuss after our Os thens. ((:

[even if we didnt do well. or we did well. we have to try our best fer the rest of the subs yeah. theres always a silver lining. so dont give up alryte. theres a whole lot more subs waiting fer us. lets work hard together kaes. hughugs* and eu guys. have mie moral support too. ((: ]

was tempted to watch teevee. and im addicted! ohmiegawd. i must confess its because of the artiste. they are mie favv. hahas channel U show at 7pm. moos. its ending soon. so i think im gonna watch it till the very last episode. i know i shouldnt but its simply too nice! hahas esp that part when that guy said, 'i love you. be my girlfriend'. woahhs. so sweet. hongkong shows. yahh. marilyn will get either get addicted to korean shows or hongkong shows. hehes. tmr's english Os oral! -screams- and the announcement of the chinese Os results. its arrivinn. hell. im not updating anymore. perhaps i will. but not as often as usual. miss me kaes. ((: i love euu`

7 August
had oral intensive remedial. it was fun. haha. ms lee brought her nephew - ivan tan. ivan is damn cute eu know! super super cute! and the whole class was looking at him wherever he went. and he drew pictures! haha. the whole class laughed at the way he drew it =/ we didnt want to go back home. the girls were totally mesmerised by him?! lols. we escorted this little prince to the general office. haha. he didnt want us to leave so we accompanied him to the garden to see fishes! his brother came later. hehes. thats all. (:

met up with doggy and hong ian at three. headed to ps. met up with shawn first. hehes. havent meet him fer a year i suppose. yeahs. and the two of them are damn tall lors. all around 180cm. and im 160cm. can eu imagine it. they are like my bodyguards =/ lols. headed to ps. met up with shawn outside the arcade. havent been seeing him fer like a year?! then went to food court to meet jiting, pearly jie, ben and joel. went to find my mum later. shopped fer kinda long and the guys waited fer me. poor thing. and we headed to heeren. and taka. then wisma. im on a shopping spree. the last stop was at surfbabe. they were feeling tired. hohos. i made them suffer ;X and zhenguang that gang met up with me at taka fer dinna. walked and walked. doggy talked a lot of cock also =x

8 August
woke up at 1.15pm today. mum was like ^#%!$#%. i was lazy so i asked my dad to buy lunch fer me. met up with the clique again at three. i saw my classmates there too but yeah, they went fer church seminar. haha. we headed to town. they had tea at bk then dawn and jason came. i started wearing jiting's shirt. i looked like a butch! LOL. looked like a skater. some rockstar. hohos. im so hyper today. mwahha. basically. we didnt shop that much. met ben and his friend. after shopping at heeren we headed to the esplanade. its was totally packed! the fireworks was simply beautiful. oh mann. its gorgeous. xP and eu can see clicking of snapshots almost everywhere. we got separated thou. jiting, jie and i one group. the rest another group. lols. took piccs of the fireworks too. productions from jiting. haha.

so right after the fireworks. we walked to find a place to eat. most of us did not have our dinna. we walked fer like 30mins. we managed to find a food court at funan but the stalls were closing. =/ and we walked to chinatown?! lol. managed to find a small restaurant but waited fer 25mins fer the food to be served. its pathetic. later after the meal. lianhong, zhenguang, jiting and i took a cab back. we had a hard time hiring a cab. most of the cab were on call or changing shifts. i met this rude driver. we were asking him whether he's going jurong. without saying a word, he drove away. wth. didnt even realise our safety. we were just standing beside the cab lors. cmonn. sucks. i got a little irritated la. even wanted to go to that extent of standing in the middle of the road. zhenguang was like saying, 'even you have the money, it doesnt mean you can find a cab easily in singapore'. lols. damn true! wells zhenguang and jiting managed to find a cab in the end. and eu know what. its a MERZ CAB! i was like speechless. =/ they didnt care much though cause jiting had to rush somewhere. hehs im not allowed to disclose i suppose.

apparently. i was the last to alight. that driver quite nice. hehes. actually. merz cab doesnt cost much thou. lols. my mum was staring at me when i got home. i explained and she was like stunned upon hearing that i took a merz cab. she didnt scold me lah. she's jex comparing my classmates with me. cause she knows i dont mix with my classmates that much. my classmates are good boys and girls, according to her. muahahs. and i said this, 'you dont understand the teenagers nowadays'. 'teenagers are teenagers. doesnt mean every century will be different' she said. wells wells. a little misunderstandings but its ok now lars. =/ but deep inside. yeah. i know she's worried ((: anws. its my last day out. im gonna be a good girl for the next three months. you bet.

basically. school hours were rather 'stressed up' today. sat fer amaths prelim B. gosh. i didnt manage to complete everything. fer the 3 hours ive been panicking. =/ its not really screwed la. but i could have done better. oh wells. theres another mock prelim coming up. i need to work hard. -grins- and my class got champion fer the noticeboard competition again. all thanks to the babes eh. i heard that our class was the last to get to know the theme fer this term. thats really unfair. jex because we never fail to get champion and they decided to announce the theme to other classes except fer ours? in the end we still manage to succeed. but its really really unfair. =/

yays. hols arriving. hurrs. its not really holiday though. its the last time im able to go out shopping until dec. im going library as usual tomorrow. gonna bring physics as well as my emaths. and also. i have voice recordin to do. sounds busy. arhaas. doggy gonna accompany me out shopping on saturday! weees. i love going shopping with him! -evil grin- he knows what im up to everytime. he's gonna have a hard time. hehehes. ;x perhaps i shall introduce him to my mum since my mum will be shopping around that area this saturday. lols. oh no. he will be saying 'uh-oh' when he sees this. mwahahha. what am i talking about. LOL! okaes. im off to watching my teevee show - the oc!

thank eu. thanks fer being there fer me. thanks fer listening to me. thanks fer being there when i need eu. muackkk. i love eu. -beams-

rushed to ps to catch a movie. but there were no seats left. even asked ying to help me check ms. but unable to make it. haha. fated. so we ended up shopping around. we took neos too. i love the neos. =D then went taka. actually. i wanted to buy that piglet pencil case. but its out of stock )): grrs. and she shopped fer clothes. my lengs were numbed. im feeling really dizzy and lethargic. its really bad. so we went to ms to find ying dear. ((: accompanied my tuition cher till nine. then i stayed with the rest. ying, anthea, jiahao and jj were there. had dinner or should i say supper there. drank a little long island ice tea. it made my head feel even worse. ahhh. but that drink was nice (: and my head was burning. jj was so nice! =x haha. okay he's considerate. first time i praised him. if he sees this, he would be delighted. right, jj? he left the place when he wanted to smoke. he knows i hate smoke and i couldnt breathe. one thing i started to realise. jh smoked too?! dot. i didnt know! okay. never judge a book by its cover. i was feeling extremely weak. jj got plain water for me. it was then i knew that he was considerate and gentleman =/ shhs. then i left at around ten cause im meeting my mum and sis at cityhall. anthea and ying accompanied me to wait fer the bus. sorry fer the trouble.

waited at cityhall fer like fifteen minutes?! =/ i was like really fainting soon. mum and sis arrived at eleven. got home by twelve. ate a panadol and off to sleep.

perhaps i should stay at home tomorrow. i dont think i can tolerate the school hours. its monday. dismissal at three. gosh. i dont know if im strong enough to overcome this. obstacles. problems problems and problems! hell. i jex hope he's there fer me now. shrugs.